Shared Reality

My closest friend sometimes finds himself bemused by the behavior of others. A recurring conversation between him and his wife goes something like this:

My Friend: I don't get it. If I had been in that situation, I would have [description of some course of action].

His Wife: Other people aren't you.

My Friend: Really?

His Wife: Really.

My Friend: Wow. That's weird.

For this friend of mine, it's always just a bit surprising to encounter the ways in which others experience the world differently than he. He isn't troubled overmuch by it, but it does strike him as being “weird”. What he's finding so peculiar is that he and others do not always have a shared reality--a single way of experiencing and responding to the world. Thankfully, my friend is aware of this, and open to the possibility of difference.

I'm sure we all know someone who, absolutely certain of what is true and common knowledge for all people, determine that those who fail to behave accordingly must in some way be damaged, or inconsiderate, or otherwise malicious or sinister. For those who immediately determine that others are simply wrong for acting in a certain way when they “should know better”, shared reality is not an issue. It is simply inconceivable to them that other people experience the world any differently than they do.

For some, shared reality--or the lack thereof--is more poignant than for my friend in the example above. “Weird” just doesn't capture it.

Another friend of mine used to joke that she only came to Earth for the shopping. Unfortunately, she forgot where she parked her shuttle, and has been stuck here ever since. For her, the reality inhabited by others is not just weird, it's downright alien. Like the “unearthly child” from a long-running popular British television series, such individuals walk through life with a peculiar sense of otherkenning--knowing the world differently. (The term otherken is derived from otherkin. Where the latter makes a claim about one's nature, the former points to one's experience.)

Three ways of being in the world: mildly bemused, dead certain, or otherken. Which fits you?